Fear and Loathing
by MikaHaeli8
Summary: Post-"Jak 3". Behind every good man is an even better woman...to give him the proverbial kick up the bottom and make him realise what's important in life. Not a songfic per se, just song-infused. No violence/ language/ sex at all. Self-beta'd.


**A/N: YEAAAH I'M BACK! Albeit for this drabble-y one-shot. I had Marina and the Diamons' "Fear and Loathing" in my head this morning (9am GMT) and I thought "you know what, this song describes Jak perfectly, I'm going to make a one-shot of it". And until now (9:17pm from the time of typing this AN) I'd forgotten about it completely until compiling a YouTube playlist. So anyway, I'm going to stop rambling and actually write this. Read, review, recommend. You know the drill. **

**~Mika**

**PS: The lyrics belong to the song in question. And not me. Sadly.**

~x~

If anyone asked him to describe how he felt right now, the answer would unquestionably be 'numb'. And 'exhausted', of course, but there were so many emotions crashing in him like waves that he barely felt them at all. He needed an umbrella term, something that covered everything he was feeling, and 'numb' was the perfect one.

He'd been at Damas' funeral, of course; had been there as the Sand King's body was cremated and scattered to the desert wind, as per the Spargan customs. As the ashes had flown from the urn, Jak had felt his heart shatter and mingle with the ashes, the event of losing the man he'd clicked as his father just as the older man had exhaled his last breath being the idiomatic last straw with the Leaper's back.

"_I lived a lot of different lives  
>Been different people many times<br>I lived my life in bitterness  
>And filled my heart with emptiness…"<em>

Now, as the sun sunk behind the Wasteland mountains, signifying the end of a long and emotional day, Jak sat in the throne room, the only sounds being his breathing and the rush of water either side of him as it cascaded, pooling at his feet. Even Daxter, his brother in spirit, wasn't around, presumably off with Tess somewhere.

Jak was (rather unusually for him, but understandable given the circumstances) deep in thought when the door clicked open. He looked up, pupils contracting in surprise when he saw who it was.

"Hey," the interruption breathed, unsure of whether her presence was welcome or not.

"Hey," Jak replied.

"I'm not interrupting, am I?" the young woman asked, her voice softer than normal, emphasising its gravelly tone.

"Precursors, Keira. No. No no. 'Course not." Jak shook his head emphatically, as if he felt words weren't enough to express his point. _You _never_ interrupt me._

Keira's vivid eyes softened, crinkling into a smile as she sat down beside him.

"_And now I see, I see you for the first time  
>There is no crime in being kind<br>Not everyone is out to screw you over  
>Maybe yeah, just maybe they just want to get to know ya…"<em>

"So, uh…" Jak cleared his throat, clenching his hands together, bereft of anything to say.

"How're you holding up?" she asked, smoothly flattening any awkwardness between them.

"Uhm." The blonde teenager nodded, suddenly finding his toes interesting. "I'm…I'm alright."

"Yeah?" the young woman replied in a tone that suggested disbelief. She rubbed his arm soothingly, and he was surprised to find he didn't flinch away from her touch as he did from others. He knew it was because she was the one connection he had with his past life; the Sandover life he'd enjoyed but never fully appreciated as a child and teenager.

"You don't believe me, huh." He swung one sandaled foot in the air, a dull 'clunk' sounding as it scuffed the stone floor upon its descent.

"Jak, c'mon." She angled round to face him. "I've known you for all your life. You didn't speak for most of it, so I learned to read your body language, your facial expressions. Your _eyes_, even." She took his hand. "Don't lie to me, 'kay? You're hurting, I can tell."

"Things have _changed_, Keira," he grunted harshly, turning himself away and folding his arms, closing himself off completely to her.

"No they _haven't_, Jak!" Her voice is raised now, a tremor of emotion betraying her own feelings. "Things have only changed because you've let them change – "

"_I've_ let them change?" He whirled back to her, a dangerous flash in his eyes. "Keira. What they _did_ to me in Haven…you don't understand. You won't understand. It…it's changed me." He backed off, softening a touch. "Even _you_ recoiled when you saw me after those hellish two years, so _you_ can't tell me I can't let things change," he added bitterly.

Keira's shoulders sunk as she remembered that moment. It was only a year ago, and yet it felt like a lifetime away. "I know, Jak. And…I'm sorry. Believe me. I shouldn't have acted like that, but it _was_ a shock seeing you…so…"

"Changed," he finished.

She fixed her large emerald eyes on him, nodding, her small, calloused hands reaching towards his. Inwardly sighing, perhaps realising he should stop being such an _idiot_, he took her hands and enveloped them in his own, their skin tones contrasting in a perfect representation of their personalities. She was the light to his Dark, the day to his night. She always had been.

He was too blind to see it before.

"_And now the time is here  
>Baby, you don't have to live your life in fear<br>And the sky is clear  
>Is clear of fear<em>

_Don't want to live in fear and loathing  
>I want to feel like I am floating<br>Instead of constantly exploding  
>In fear and loathing…"<em>

She moved her fingers within his hands in a futile attempt to stroke his palms. He loosed his grip instantly, thinking she wanted to let go. It was only after the shake of her head and a smile, adding to her blush-suffused cheeks, that he resumed his grip, lacing her fingers with his own.

"Jak," she breathed, "I…" She swallowed. "I just came to tell you that no matter what happens…what will happen, what has happened, I don't know. That damn moncaw…" A breathy laugh escaped her throat. "I'm still here. Always have been. Always will be. 'Kay?"

"_Got different people inside my head  
>I wonder which one that they like best<br>I'm done tryna have it all  
>And ending up with not much at all<em>

_And now the time is here  
>Baby you don't have to live your life in fear<br>And the sky is clear  
>Is clear of fear, of fear<em>

_Don't want to live in fear and loathing  
>I want to feel like I am floating<br>Instead of constantly exploding  
>In fear and loathing…."<em>

Swallowing back a lump in his throat, Jak nodded. "I know, Keir." _And you don't even know how grateful I am for you._ "Thanks."

She gave a small smile, suddenly unlacing her fingers and throwing her arms around him in a tight hug. Instantly, he closed his arms around her slender form, face buried in her neck, breathing in the scent of home for the first time in years.

When she pulled back, his body protested at the loss of contact. She didn't pull fully away, however, choosing instead to once again angle herself so she was looking directly into his eyes, folded hands resting on his back.

Tentatively, he closed his eyes, leaned forward and planted his lips against hers in a chaste kiss, following a sudden impulse. Instead of pulling away, as he illogically expected her to do, her hands snaked up to the back of his head and she crushed their lips together, deepening the kiss some more.

His own hands slid up her back to tangle them in her long dual-coloured hair as he lost himself in – and there was honestly no better way to put this – her _Keira-_ness. The way she felt in his hands, the little movements she made, her scent…

All too soon, she broke off and the young couple rested their foreheads against the other's, eyes still closed. For a while, neither of them could speak, save for the light feeling that filled them both, as if great weights had lifted off their shoulders. They sat in silence, enjoying this feeling.

It wasn't too long before Jak had a question, however.

"How long have you wanted to do that?"

Keira's eyes snapped open, atmosphere now dissipated. "What?"

"How…" He swallowed, throat dry. "How long have you wanted to kiss me?"

She chuckled throatily, the sound washing over and through him. "Jak, for all your heroic deeds, you really are a clueless idiot, aren't you?" She sighed teasingly, shaking her head again. "Been wanting to do it since the day we freaking well _met_. Duh."

Jak chuckled as the old Keira made herself known, loud and clear. "Touché,"

"Oo_oo_ooh. Get you with the fancy words." She chuckled again.

"Hey. Let no-one say I _haven't_ learned in the last year or so," Jak smirked in reply as they both leaned in for another kiss. "Also, you know…If you ever have kids in the future – "

"What? Don't even _talk _to meabout the future,"

"I mean, if you ever did, I hope you have a daughter with the same attitude as you. Precursors know it's needed sometimes."

Keira laughed, the laugh bright and joyful, and kissed him vivaciously, over and over again.

"_And when the time comes along  
>And the lights run out<em>

_I know when the light will burn out  
>When they blow me out."<em>

~x~

**I've just read through this and edited it and JKA, girl, you rubbin' off onto me because this was WAY lighter than the stuff I normally write. And Jak and Keira were actually IN CHARACTER this time. Amazeballs for that. Although I genuinely couldn't help the slight "Blood Ties" reference at the end. You can blame karma for that.**

**~MikaHaeli8**


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